Learning About Love

Abstract

Considerable scholarly attention has been dedicated toward the role of peers in adolescents’ romantic lives (Brown, 1999; Collins, 2003; Connolly & McIsaac, 2009, Korobov & Thorne, 2006). However, when it comes to the developmental significance of adults in promoting the healthy romantic functioning of adolescents, there has been comparably little research. For college students in particular, navigating romantic experiences can be a stressful and complex endeavor (Hurst et al., 2013) - one that may be aided by supportive relationships with adults who can listen, ask questions, and offer a distinct perspective. Indeed, recent literature has indicated that late adolescents (18-25 years of age) want more guidance from the adults in their lives about romantic relationships (Weissbourd et al., 2017). The present study introduces the concept and term love mentoring - opportunities to think, learn, and/or talk about romantic experiences with someone who is older or more experienced in this domain. Through the theoretical framework of Relational Cultural Theory, the study investigates the presence, nature, quality, and influence of love mentoring relationships in the lives of college women enrolled in a university-based mentoring program. Through reflexive thematic analysis of survey data and 12 in-depth follow-up interviews, the study’s results are distilled into six integrative findings: love mentoring is prevalent in families and universities, love mentors (LMs) are trustworthy, love mentoring supports self-worth, conversations around sex complicate love mentoring relationships, LMs are distinct from friends, and LMs promote healthy romantic development through conversation and modeling. These foundational findings on the phenomenon of love mentoring provide an important contribution to existing bodies of literature on college students’ romantic relationships and mentoring. Implications for research and practice are discussed in the context of study limitations.